the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
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