I'm so fucking centered right now
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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