well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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