I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
