I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize