did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
