i can't believe i had my finger in that
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i think my cat just said my name.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
