Its about making memories worth repressing
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
