who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
high people should be assigned attendants
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
