I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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