He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
