I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize