I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just took my morning after pill in the library
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize