Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
