U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
But we have bathrooms and they dont
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize