it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
