I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
