i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
