I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
