he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
