I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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