this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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