True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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