She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My balls are so social today.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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