his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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