so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
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