so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
