apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
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