I could make wine with my vomit
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Girls should come with a carfax report
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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