I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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