i can't believe i had my finger in that
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
