This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
