I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
