I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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