Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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