Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
