Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
