my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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