So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
