No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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