google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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