Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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