I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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