don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
