what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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