Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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