Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
