my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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