It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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