cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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