Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
