Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
