But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
barbara walters just said penis...
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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