This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Randomize
