i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
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You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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