The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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