He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
