I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
