Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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