I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We're not piercing ourselves today.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
