it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.