Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.