Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Barsexuality is the new black.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt