She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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