return my video game
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
