I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
