dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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