so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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