OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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