Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
