Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
