Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
