Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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